There are times where I have to reassure myself that it isn't the end, it is a new beginning.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

In The Blink Of An Eye

Is it me or is time passing by quickly?

I say this for various reasons.

1. Troy Zapata. He was born today 18 years ago, and he died December 2008. It has been almost three years since his death, and it still feel like it wasn't that long ago. I guess no matter how much time goes pass, loss never leaves. We will all still miss him as if he just left us.

2. Being Heartbroken still sucks. It's been over a week, and I am still numb from the heartbreak. Numb in the sense that I haven't publicly expressed my feelings or even allow my feelings to settle into place. My eyes tear up at times, but I don't full out cry. I fear that this numb feeling I have will last for a very long time. I want to be able to feel again. Be able to look at opportunities with an open heart, and not go on with a cold one. Well, I always say that time will heal all, but time has been slipping out my hand and I sense no change. There is nothing to do but wait, I guess.

3. Friends of mine are heading out to their respective colleges. Yesterday, one of my friends headed off to Indiana to college, and the valedictorian of my HS will be off to her dream school. This week, more friends will be leaving to their colleges, and next week the remainder of my friends will leave to or start college. I don't leave until September 4th -- I have 19 days left. I know it's late, but with time moving so quickly, I will be moving out in no time.

Ugh. I know that time goes by, but does it have to at this speed? It feels as if I will miss a lot in the blink of an eye.


Live Life, and go BEYOND it.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Pick Up The Pieces

I have been in a relationship for one year and five months, which unfortunately ended yesterday. I fell in love --and hard. Doesn't that suck? I remember seeing this posted somewhere:

"Falling in Love sounds exactly like it sounds: Falling. Expect it to hurt."

Man, I can't stress how accurate this quote is! I mean, it is every girl's dream to find the perfect man and fall in complete and utter love with them. It is every one's dream --please excuse me if I seem to be pushing it-- to find the right person to share their life with. For most of us, we look and search and give it our all but we don't always see the "other side" of it. What happens when you love someone who doesn't love you back? Or when love has reach its limit? Or when the love dies? I will tell you right now: IT HURTS!

With love, comes heartbreak. It is negative to think of it that way, but this is a fact that everyone realizes at one point. This doesn't mean don't let yourself love out of fear of feeling the pain or dealing with a broken heart. I am not implying that AT ALL. We are simply human, and we all must experience pain at multiple points in our lives. It is inevitable.

I might seem a little on the down side since I recently got my own heart broken. But, I know I will love again. As much as we might not want to, it is in our nature. Love is a part of living. And maybe love will guide me to the same person or it might lead me into the arms of another person. We all should face the fact that we are all going to fall in love and give our heart to the people who mean the world to us. With that amazing love and risk comes the chance of heartbreak and/or rejection. Take it though. Go ahead and LOVE. Take advantage of it.

Yes, it hurts. I will be honest with you: it feels like the end of the world. It is hard to see myself happy after this. It is like my heart broke into a million pieces. BUT in time, it will heal. I will find my way, and love will find me again. Sounds cliche, right? But, it is definitely true. Accepting this makes the pain that much more easier to bare.


Don't be afraid to give your heart to someone. If it does break into a million pieces, then pick up the pieces and give it time.

Live Life, and go BEYOND it.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Another Day, Another Body

My mother was right, people are dying everyday.

I mean...

Of course, people die everyday. But seeing it for yourself makes that statement mean much more.

NYC, to outsiders, seem to be the city that never sleeps. A place where everyone can follow their dreams and be surround by bright lights. However, NYC is exaggerated. All the lights and good life is just Time Square. There is more to NYC than that. NYC consist of five Boroughs, and I live in one of them: The Bronx. Yes, it has its perks like the Bronx Zoo, cheap stores and what not. Bronx's biggest downfall is the violence. There is simply too much of it.

Sadly, every time I turn to the news, someones life is taken, usually by a gun. I have friends on Facebook who update their status about witnessing a shooting or losing someone to it. Today, I seen two of those status from close friends of mine. It is sad how big of a part gun plays in my life. I was at the beach when there was a shooting. There was drive-by shooting right in front of my building. I even lost a friend of mine to a gun.


I been to more funerals than High School Graduations, isn't that sad?

"How many guns need to be shot, lives need to be lost, families need to be broken before we realize there is a problem with our generation?"

Life is too short.


Live Life, and go BEYOND it.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

I Believe...

So, recently I attended a mass at my church. I am actually atheist, which means I don't believe in god. However, my family is Catholic and my grandmother usually attends church.

So my mother dragged me to church to thank god for her new job. It wasn't a wise decision on my part, but it made me realize a lot.

First let me just say that I was very uncomfortable the whole time there. There were points in time where I wanted to yell out a rebuttal to the religion or just leave the church completely. I couldn't stay still and I started to get hot flashes, weird huh?

But to my point:

People are so strict on defending their religion, but at what cost? There are people who risk their own lives or others just to show why their religion is the best one.

As an atheist, I get a lot of heat from others. I "came out" to my family, and that was the beginning of an endless debate. They were so quick to put down my beliefs and I had to defend why it was legit to me. I do not offend other religious people by putting down their religion. If you ask me what I think about a certain religion, I will give you my honest opinion without making the other person feel like crap.

I can't put down a religion that makes people feel better about them selves. I can't disrespect a religion that makes my mother cry. No one should tear any religion down just to come off on top.

In my opinion, religion brings hope to people. I find hope in not believing what others believe. People find hope in being blessed and attending a gathering. Don't judge. I always tell people to stand up for what they believe in no matter what.


I believe _________________________________________________. Fill in the blank, and never look back.

Live Life, and go BEYOND it.