Don't Forget to Look at Your Reflection!

Time is irreplaceable, but I think, as human, we keep forgetting this. Time passes, and it is time that we don't get back. Time is of the essence, people!

Time flew by for me, actually. On Monday, I would have finished my first semester in college. I couldn’t be more satisfied. It was, indeed, one tough semester as I had to adjust to college life and being independent. There are very little things I wish I could have done, but then again, I have to take it as it is. All I could do is stop and reflect to make the next time better than the last time. It is all about TIME!

You know, life is short. It can be taken from anyone at any moment, so why not make the moment last? I had to learn this tough lesson from the death of my friend, Troy Zapata. His life was shortened by the shot of a bullet, he was 15 years old. I know I mention him a lot, but he helped me see the things I see now.

I just noticed this is my second blog about the importance of time. What can I say? Time is one thing that matter to me. I think everyone should stop what they are doing and take a moment to look back at what they've done. Are you proud of it? Are you where you envisioned yourself to be? Is it a story worth telling?

Because I know mine is. I have flaws and my moments, but then again, who doesn’t? My life has been a roller coaster ride. It has been a constant struggle, an ongoing fight, but I am nowhere close to hanging up my gloves. I always take a moment to reflect, and use that as motivation to make my future. Everyone should have that mind set when it comes to time.

So…

When you pass a mirror, don’t forget to stop and look at your reflection. Because there is always something there than that little zit on your face or how big your ass looks.

Live Life & Go BEYOND it.

Change: For Better or For Worse

Obama based his whole campaign on bringing "Change", but some people don't look at what Change can be. Yes, bringing change to certain things is positive, but there are negative sides to change. It depends on what is being change and from what to what.

Personally, I am referring to change in people. I think everyone changes -- not only at one point in their life but at many points in their life. As conditions and environment changes, so does that person. Think about it. For me, going to college, there are many changes I had to go through. I am not talking about new friends, new home, new responsibilities -- I mean of the person I am. I had to drop and add certain things about myself to fit my conditions. I am slowly being less uptight about everything as I get easily stressed out in college. I used to need friends to remind me to relax, but in college, I have no one but myself.

Also, I had to be more agressive and assertive on what I want. In college, everyone is trying to do their own thing. It is the time for a person to think their path out, and step up to the plate. So, I had to be ready to know what I want in life. This has to be one of the biggest change I had to go through. I became ready to accept that not everyone is going to join me in my adventures; some people needed to be dropped. I lost many friends, and made many enemies. I needed to step up, and there will always be people trying to bring me down. I know I've changed. My change is for the better and for the worse, depending on who and what is looking at it. I am just trying to be a better me, and the change I am undergoing can completely fail. Then again, it can put me on top.

Yes, Obama. We can bring change, but of what kind? Yes, we want to change the current economy and we can, but doesn't mean it will be for the better. People need to realize that yes, change is good, but at what cost? We can change every aspect of life to compliment our lives better, but will it be successful? There is a chance that we screw it up, just like there is a chance of it going great.

There is always two side to everything: For the better or For the Worse. Don't forget to look at both sides.

So...

Live Life & Go BEYOND it.

Matter of Time

I know minutes turn into hours, and hours into days, and nonetheless days turn into weeks. By the time we realize how much has passed, it is too late. It is time wasted. It is time to realize that "time is of the essence". It passes by, and there is no possible way to grab it while we can. We just need to live in the moment, and remember to appreciate every minute.

This is the reason I have such a tough time letting go...

Because letting go means letting the times I shared with a particular person go to waste. I am never ready to do such a thing. All the memories I held with the man I loved will never be wasted moments, I will replay them in my head to remind me that my life wasn't just an ordinary day after another. It was spent with someone special, doing something that meant something to me. Understand? I don't think anyone wants to come to the realization that the time they spent with someone was just time wasted. I refuse to let my memories die.

Everyone that I have a hard time letting go are people who I spent the most amazing times of my life with. I always come back to them, and I become a better person for the sake of fixing the relationship. I am not a perfect person, I can admit. I make my mistakes, and I beat myself down for most of them. I know what I did wrong, but the people who I find on my side after everything are the ones that are important. They are truly worth it. I would never give up the memories I shared with them or hope to share with them in the future. I can't let them go.

So, when a person tells me to move on or let it go, I just shrug. It is harder for me to do so. I want those memories fresh in my head with nothing but thoughts of making new ones with that person. I believe, in time, a person will be able to make their own choice of who to let go or who to keep close.

It is all a matter of time.

So...

Live Life & Go BEYOND it.

That Second Chance...

Everyone deserves a second chance.

I honestly believe so. Just because as human beings, we all fuck up at one point. And if you think you don't, maybe you aren't fully aware of your surroundings.

Lil Wayne said it best: "...but I fucked up, I know I fucked up, I admit I fucked up
but everybody fuck up..."

If we don't give someone that second chance, how can we expect anyone to give us one? It is the golden rule: Consider yourself in the equation. Giving someone another chance also gives the person a chance to grow. If a person is given another chance, it is another opportunity to grow as a person and learn from their mistake. If they don't have this chance, they won't be able to fix their mistakes and work hard to be a better person.

Now, of course, there is a limit on things. I honestly give people too many chances, but in my opinion, there is always something changing in them. If they decide to keep taking advantage of me and their chance, I will be sure who they are to me and cut them loose. I came across a random post that said "There is a delete button for Sagittarius", and guess who is a Sagittarius? I honestly think everyone should have a delete button because letting people who will bring you down in your life will actually be successful in bringing you down.

Sometimes, it takes more than screwing up two chances to realize that someone isn't worth your time, but maybe it takes more. I had experiences where I gave people too many chances, and they fail to take advantage of those chances of rebuilding our broken friendship. Those people aren't a factor in my life anymore, and I am actually in a good place. I learned a lot from giving out those extra chances, even when I didn't want to.

So...

Just remember that everyone, including yourself fucks up.

Don't be quick to burn bridges before you walked across them.

Live Life & Go BEYOND it.

Where Our Lives Takes Us...

I know it has been a while since I made a post, but I am only human.

Looking back, my life has changed so much. I think at any point, any one's life can be taken on a different route. Your life can be changed just by meeting someone new. That person can be a life partner, a best friend, but they can make a big impact. For me, college changed my life. I crawled out of my natural environment into a new environment-- a completely different one. So yes, I am no longer in the Bronx, but that is actually a good thing.

I attend Pace University in Pleasantville, NY, and I love it there. I met people that have a variety of backgrounds, beliefs, and ways of life. I honestly made a group of strangers into family, and I never want to leave them. I learn to care for them as if I knew them before. I finally feel like I belong.

Everyone is in the pursue of finding comfort and happiness. It is a difficult task, but when you get close, it is worth it.

To make things even worse, I just got of a bad break-up -- Yes, again. However, I am actually good. I am happy because other than being home thinking about him and crying or wining, I am surround around people who love me and keep me busy. So, there is the solution to a broken heart. Keep busy and surround yourself with people who you love and love you back.

From my experiences, the worst part of a breakup is realizing that the love is gone -- it isn't being given nor received. And to fill that emptiness where the love used to fit, you have to find another love. Not another love with another partner, but it could be family and friends. When you feel the love, nothing can destroy you.

In the end, we are just humans, right? Our lives can take us to a whole other world or even across a busy street. We, as human, are just victims to it. I am a victim to a new environment and people, and I am loving it.

So...

Live Life & Go BEYOND it.

In The Blink Of An Eye

Is it me or is time passing by quickly?

I say this for various reasons.

1. Troy Zapata. He was born today 18 years ago, and he died December 2008. It has been almost three years since his death, and it still feel like it wasn't that long ago. I guess no matter how much time goes pass, loss never leaves. We will all still miss him as if he just left us.

2. Being Heartbroken still sucks. It's been over a week, and I am still numb from the heartbreak. Numb in the sense that I haven't publicly expressed my feelings or even allow my feelings to settle into place. My eyes tear up at times, but I don't full out cry. I fear that this numb feeling I have will last for a very long time. I want to be able to feel again. Be able to look at opportunities with an open heart, and not go on with a cold one. Well, I always say that time will heal all, but time has been slipping out my hand and I sense no change. There is nothing to do but wait, I guess.

3. Friends of mine are heading out to their respective colleges. Yesterday, one of my friends headed off to Indiana to college, and the valedictorian of my HS will be off to her dream school. This week, more friends will be leaving to their colleges, and next week the remainder of my friends will leave to or start college. I don't leave until September 4th -- I have 19 days left. I know it's late, but with time moving so quickly, I will be moving out in no time.

Ugh. I know that time goes by, but does it have to at this speed? It feels as if I will miss a lot in the blink of an eye.

So...

Live Life, and go BEYOND it.

Pick Up The Pieces

I have been in a relationship for one year and five months, which unfortunately ended yesterday. I fell in love --and hard. Doesn't that suck? I remember seeing this posted somewhere:

"Falling in Love sounds exactly like it sounds: Falling. Expect it to hurt."

Man, I can't stress how accurate this quote is! I mean, it is every girl's dream to find the perfect man and fall in complete and utter love with them. It is every one's dream --please excuse me if I seem to be pushing it-- to find the right person to share their life with. For most of us, we look and search and give it our all but we don't always see the "other side" of it. What happens when you love someone who doesn't love you back? Or when love has reach its limit? Or when the love dies? I will tell you right now: IT HURTS!

With love, comes heartbreak. It is negative to think of it that way, but this is a fact that everyone realizes at one point. This doesn't mean don't let yourself love out of fear of feeling the pain or dealing with a broken heart. I am not implying that AT ALL. We are simply human, and we all must experience pain at multiple points in our lives. It is inevitable.

I might seem a little on the down side since I recently got my own heart broken. But, I know I will love again. As much as we might not want to, it is in our nature. Love is a part of living. And maybe love will guide me to the same person or it might lead me into the arms of another person. We all should face the fact that we are all going to fall in love and give our heart to the people who mean the world to us. With that amazing love and risk comes the chance of heartbreak and/or rejection. Take it though. Go ahead and LOVE. Take advantage of it.

Yes, it hurts. I will be honest with you: it feels like the end of the world. It is hard to see myself happy after this. It is like my heart broke into a million pieces. BUT in time, it will heal. I will find my way, and love will find me again. Sounds cliche, right? But, it is definitely true. Accepting this makes the pain that much more easier to bare.

So...

Don't be afraid to give your heart to someone. If it does break into a million pieces, then pick up the pieces and give it time.

Live Life, and go BEYOND it.